Evaluating Relationships After Pregnancy Loss

  1. First and foremost, be kind to yourself.
  2. Don’t force yourself into making sweeping decisions about relationships or about yourself. This creates anxiety. Allow yourself to observe your relationships and how you feel inside of them.
  3. Remind yourself that the process of change and discovery-though we do tend to glamourize it as a culture!-can be and often is very uncomfortable. We are learning a new and deeper way of being in the world.
  4. Don’t immediately accept the blame to keep the peace with someone else. Rather take ownership of what part of an issue belongs to you. In other words, don’t prophylactically apologize when something is not your fault. Do extend an apology when it’s fitting and appropriate.
  5. Trust yourself-whether it’s your gut, intuition, sense of things. Try to listen to your own concerns.
  6. Understand that the other person’s issues do not define your role in the relationship, nor should they define you. Likewise, you don’t define them either. This is good because it gives everyone space and honors individuality.
  7. Be aware if issues of emotional manipulation (even the kind that are more loving and caring-they exist, too!) begin to surface and, better yet, look for symptoms before they become too pronounced.
  8. When you are feeling anxious or angry, work through those natural feelings with an appropriate and trusted person or persons.

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