You might think that because I lost four pregnancies, I would be opposed to abortion. After all, I considered each of those pregnancies a life. I became attached to those lives the moment I knew I was pregnant. I was devastated when those lives ended. You might think I would be horrified by any woman who chooses to end a pregnancy. But I’m not. In fact, I am more supportive of a woman’s right to choose than ever before.

Two of my pregnancies were ectopic, meaning the embryo did not implant in the uterus (the first was in my left…


By Kim Hooper

This past Tuesday, Senator Tammy Duckworth and Representative Ayanna Pressley introduced a bill that calls for employers to provide at least three days of paid leave for workers who experience a pregnancy loss. This is similar to the legislation that passed in New Zealand in March. In my humble opinion, they should call this the “About Freaking Time Act.”

The bill proposes a minimum of three days of paid leave for workers to “process and cope following a pregnancy loss, an unsuccessful assisted reproductive technology procedures, a failed adoption arrangement, a failed surrogacy arrangement, or a medical…


By Huong Diep

As a gender-affirming psychologist, I am proud of the opportunity to amplify marginalized voices, especially those of queer couples, including transgender and non-binary folks in All the Love: Healing Your Heart and Finding Meaning after Pregnancy Loss.

Unfortunately, transgender pregnancy is highly misunderstood and often sensationalized with headlines such as, “Man gets pregnant!” “Man gives birth to a baby!” without having the basic understanding of vocabulary, biases, and barriers that can further impact this marginalized group.

I identify as a cisgender, heterosexual female. While I do not have the lived experience of a trans person, I have…


By Huong Diep

Hi, there. I see you. Yes, you.

I know that Mother’s Day is hard for you. Perhaps you have experienced pregnancy loss(es). Maybe you have lost your mother. Maybe you are grieving the loss of the possibility of being a mother. Whatever this day holds for you, I hope you recognize that it is valid. Your feelings are valid.

According to Webster’s dictionary, a mother is defined as “A female parent of an animal. A woman who gives birth to or has the responsibility of physical and emotional care of specific children.” …


A few weeks after my sister gave birth to her third son, and a few weeks before Mother’s Day, I lost my first and only son in the second trimester of a pregnancy that had seemed perfect.

“We don’t have to do anything for Mother’s Day,” my mom said, knowing it would likely be difficult for me.

This loss of my son was my third pregnancy loss. I had been through the proverbial ringer.

“No, that’s okay. I can do it,” I said.

This was a profound example of fooling oneself.

***

My husband and I hosted the Mother’s Day…


On March 25, every major news outlet ran a headline announcing New Zealand’s approved legislation granting women (and their partners) three days of paid leave after a miscarriage or stillbirth.

Like many others, I cheered. I cheered because this marks one of the first times a country has declared that pregnancy loss is something that 1) happens and 2) requires a period of healing, physically and emotionally. Ginny Andersen, a member of Parliament who proposed the bill, said, “The bill will give women and their partners time to come to terms with their loss without having to tap into sick…


With more women sharing their stories, the conversation around pregnancy loss is livelier than ever before. This is step one-breaking the silence so women feel less alone. Now it’s time for step two-changing the terms within the conversation so women feel less shame.

Recently, Peanut announced what they’re calling the Renaming Revolution, and I am here for it. The current language around pregnancy loss perpetuates the idea that women are somehow at fault (even though we know that the vast majority of pregnancy losses are caused by chromosomal abnormalities and genetic issues). With each of my losses (I had four)…


Here’s the truth: I lost four pregnancies, and after each one, I hated my husband.

My first loss was an ectopic pregnancy, meaning the embryo took up residence in my left fallopian tube, which required emergency surgery to end the embryo’s life and save mine. The day after this surgery, while I was in bed woozy from pain pills, my husband, Chris, went to a hockey game with his brother. When I expressed my frustration-nay, rage-about this to a friend, she said, “When I had my miscarriage, my husband went to Vegas.”

This seems to be a thing with some…


There are approximately 6 million pregnancies in the U.S. each year, and more than a million of those end in loss. A million. Every year.

Despite this unfortunate prevalence, there is no support infrastructure in place for people going through pregnancy loss. I realized this when I went through it myself.

I had four pregnancy losses and, after each one, I felt lost, left to my own devices to figure out what was happening to me physically and emotionally. Technically, my obstetrician was there for my pregnancy; when my pregnancy ended, was he still my doctor? It wasn’t clear. Certainly…


I recently watched the Netflix series Firefly Lane, based on the book by Kristin Hannah, and was pleasantly surprised to see how they handled pregnancy loss–specifically, the loss of a pregnancy that was not planned or even wanted initially.

Spoiler alert: Tully Hart (played by Katherine Heigl) is a 43-year-old talk show host with a fair amount of fame and fortune. She has always prioritized her career over all else (with the exception of her friendship with Kate Mularkey, played by Sarah Chalke). So, when she finds out she is pregnant by her casual boyfriend, Max, she is not exactly…

All the Love

Supporting and empowering people through pregnancy loss. All the Love: Healing Your Heart and Finding Meaning After Pregnancy Loss (Turner Publishing, 2021).

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